Strength, pain and all of that

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All of us cause pain to our loved ones – mostly unintentionally, unconsciously. We seldom realize – what the person in pain goes through. Unless, until we get into their shoes. Or, we are sensitive enough to relate to the experience.

Human beings are complex. And, human relationships are more complex. Beyond comprehension, in most cases. We care for our loved ones the most, we also cause pain to these folks. Why? Is it because we are protective? Cautious? Possessive? Because of Love? Insecurity?

Recently, realized that, in reality, some words are louder than actions. Although, we preach that actions tend to be louder than words.

As human beings, have we numbed ourselves to express the right things at the right moment? Have we become insensitive to truth, honesty? Indeed, possible, with the way we all have masked ourselves to various situations.

I knew of a girl, who wrapped herself inside a bed cover, listened to songs. Everyone thought she was fine and strong as a person. But, she laid there in despair. Somehow, there is a lot of intensity when you cry, silently, all alone in the night.

But, it’s a scary thought that this girl might numb herself too, about various things. I do have a question though. Will she really be a stronger person? Well. Time can only answer this.

Missing someone..

Its been quite a long time since I felt this way. I miss my friends, my campus usually.
But this time, its someone special. Someone whom I wish to spend a lot of time with.

Its quite a weird feeling when you miss your family.
You don’t feel sleepy.
You don’t want to eat.
You are distracted at your best.
You keep thinking of all the good memories.
You eagerly wait to receive an sms or call from your folks.
You wanna jump when you actually receive one.
You behave quite crazily.

Through all this, I wanna express that I miss my family.
Now.
Right now.
Very much.
Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated ~Lamartine
 

LOVE

You are selfless. You are quite your unusual self. You are in bliss. You smile. You blush. You wanna express love in every possible way. You are in your ecstasy. You dream of all good things. You wish for beautiful things. You can drool over silly things and consider the most important things too. You love everything on the planet from a paper to be thrown in the dustbin to a stupidest forward message you receive on your phone. You aim to be at your poetic best when you feel love within. You listen to Raja Music 😉 or any romantic slow music. You sing half of them (forget about you know the song or not, but you start singing, however good or bad you are at singing :D). You are more strong. You wish to be pampered. You try to associate your feeling to someone. What if you don’t have anyone special in life? Well, you can still be in love. Love is not just holding your boyfriend/girlfriend’s hands and speaking all romantic stuff or anything on those lines, but love is an emotion. Love. Love. Love is in the air for me. I love this moment. I am quite enlightened maybe 😉

Today, Nov 7th 2010 is the JAL cyclone day. Quite struck at home because of continuous alerts on news channels stating the same news about the cyclone. So, I was quite by myself at home today. Parents were home too. It was a sweet day with parents. Teasing mum and dad, listening to sufi music, nature watching from window pane, enjoying the rain breeze, curling inside the blanket, is all love in my opinion. A day of enlightenment. A day of love. A day of expressing love. Spread love. Love is all that can change bad into good. Love is the mantra 🙂

~When we make the choice to fill our heart space with unconditional love, our worlds blossom into a beauty far greater than we have known.

>Deep within ..

>

I don’t understand how to explain in words when it feels you like someone so much, you don’t dare to express it to them, yet secretively admire all li’l things they do. You try to connect with all passionate things they do, you try to be their pillar of strength though you don’t know how they are gonna think about you, you do all crazy things, you try to listen and never react, you are at the verge of options like “either take or lose”, you are “so not you” but you like that feeling, you would have hated certain things in your life so much that you are considering to accept those dislikes to be your likes for that someone, you are called retarded and you feel its cool to be one.

All I felt, did.. but killed it within.. Buried those emotions.. I didn’t wanna express.. and I put a straight face as though nothing has ever happened.

P.S: I love you. I hid it. Sorry.

P.S.S:
There are things I cannot express
when I look into your eyes
Maybe the fear of rejection 
I feel and see

There is love within, 
which I will allow to grow
But never show
And, I wish you were mine.