Who are they? Well.. Long long ago.. So long ago.. There were two people who fell in love (..obviously a young boy and girl..) when they were around 24 years of age. And you know how the 1980’s era was? Especially when the tam brahm girl loves a non brahmin boy.. Caste apart, they were two individuals who wanted to take their parents consent for their marriage… And, the usual filmy stuff happened and Yes! They fought the world who stood against their love and went ahead to marry each other..
Today, on your 25th marriage anniversary, I wish I had spent some time with both of you.. Probably, doing my bit of troubling you guys.. But, just that you escaped my gig today! (.. how I wish I smashed a cake on both of you..*drooools*..)
And you know what.. You have stayed together not just for 100 days.. but 9125 days till date.. *Claps Claps* (.. I always knew my dad was a bravo.. and my mum was extremely adjustive.. )
Jokes apart.. Stay the same.. and hope you relived your loved moments..
“Hi dear. I miss you” …(or)… “Baby, can we meet up in the evening? At some private place?” …(or)… “I want to be with you right now. I don’t care how”…(or)… “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve seen in my life. I wish to be with you always”… and those never-ending lines have been experienced by all of us once in our life atleast. Most of us have faced various forms of attraction for the opposite sex. But we don’t really know if its love, lust, infatuation or obsession. So, here I write this article to guide you with few checks and questions you may want to ask yourself to know what is that you have for your special someone.
I see some boy, start liking him, speaking and seeing him everyday, still liking him, and after a while, I have moved on. I don’t think of him as much as I used to before. I am thinking of someone else. Well, you know what this is. INFATUATION, all in capital letters. When in Infatuation, you feel high thinking of that special person. You are in your dreamland singing a duet, all in filmy way and you tend to do stupid things to impress them in some way or the other. Trust me buddy! This is just temporary.
So, you are asking me what Love is?
LOVE. It’s a magic – so beautiful, so true, so divine, and so on. It’s all about those little things. For instance, when you love someone truly, you care about meeting them and not bother about where, how and when. You feel more positive when you are with your love. You are yourself with the person you love without pondering your thoughts over what he/she is going to think if you say you can’t speak to him/her due to some reasons. You trust the other person more than anybody. You are selfless and you cherish every moment of your life with your love. You make efforts in constructive way and empower your love in all possible ways.
You will fight the world for your love. You will disagree, argue, express your differences confidently to your love and still stay in love without fighting. And the most important thing is when you say –“I love you”, you truly would mean it.
You would feel refreshed and comfortable when you are with them, but not necessarily feel weak and threatened when you are away from them. If you keep thinking of them, always, and stay distracted all the time, its either lust or obsession.
Some useful questions you could ask yourself to clarify your doubts about infatuation, love, lust and obsession –
• Does he accept me for what I am or he wants me to change myself according to his wish?
• How does he react to my friends, family members, colleagues and acquaintances? Do they appear as pests to him and he wishes to have me all by himself or does he genuinely enjoy meeting everyone my dear and near ones too?
• How does he handle disagreement with me? Does he get disturbed when I have an independent opinion or does he welcome it?
• In a public place or when introducing to friends or relatives, does he show me off as if I am a trophy that he has won?
• Does he want to be with me at all times (either physically or by telephone) so much so that I find myself getting cut off even from my family? Does his continuous preoccupation with me have started affecting adversely his or my job and normal life routines?
• Would he still care for me if I denied to him what he craves for most? (This may be sex or may be something else) One may also ask the question, would he love me even if due to some reasons beyond my control, I cannot meet him or talk to him for say, a year?
• Are his expressions of passion combined with occasional threats of termination of relationship?
“Love is a relationship of caring and giving. Obsession is a display of power. Love is submergence of ego, while obsession involves display of ego. Confusing obsession with love is like drinking poison when one wants to have milk in its purest form”
The above quote explains in simple terms as to what love is and what love is not. Hence, instead of trying to learn what lust is, what infatuation or obsession is, it is simpler to understand what love is and what it is not. May you find that special one in your life and love them truly with all your heart.
My best friend complains to me about his ex even now. True that love is always like a two-sided coin. You either accept or reject completely. Most of us have gone through relationships and find it a challenge to deal with it during a break up. Want to move on, but don’t know how? I wouldn’t say its simple. But here are some useful tips that can facilitate you to move on.
Accept the fact that the relationship is over. Don’t cling to your relationship and try to patch your broken heart with your ex again. You may be the strongest one emotionally but when you are hurt, accept that it will take time to heal your pain, for you can’t get over your ex in 2 days whom you loved for 2 years. Stay calm with yourself, don’t feel guilty about anything and believe that things happened for good.
2. Speak out your emotions
Most of us tend to become fragile and can’t trust anybody with ease. Remember that your friends are always there to cheer you. Develop the trust in someone and speak your heart out to him or her. Don’t think of what others feel about you when you speak about your ex. Letting go off your emotions and thoughts can really lessen your burden and make you feel better.
3. Keep yourself busy
Move around and work more. Shift your focus on a progressive path. This time can be fruitful for you to pursue the most passionate things. I know people who learnt a couple of languages to keep themselves going from their ex and it turned out to be very productive for them. If you are working, engage more quality time at your work place and never reflect your personal self there. This will ensure growth in your career as well help you become more mature and move on with life.
4. Live the moment
Not being philosophical here but isn’t it true to live your present life? You may never know that there is someone who loves you madly and want to make you his or hers. Give them a chance and never distrust their love for you. I accept that your break up has left you in pain, depression, disbelief, hatred, and etc. but try understanding what your current love can mean to you. Don’t suspect your present love and live with the moment.
5. Go for a vacation
Finally, go to new places for a vacation with your loved ones. Avoid places you have gone with your ex to trigger past memories. Pose for photographs, be at your crazy best, and do all the chilling at your holiday. It’s just the will to stay happy no matter what that can help you move on.
All said easily but to practice, it’s a virtue. Always remember that no one can impact your life as much as you do. It’s your life and you are the only person who has authority to do what you wish to do with your life. Nevertheless, hold a smile always.
CELEBRITY QUOTES ON BREAK UPS AND MOVING ON:
“I’m not sure what the future holds but I do know that I’m going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate. As my dad said ‘Nic, it is what it is, it’s not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is’.” —Nicole Kidman
“I met the right person. I don’t like being without him.” – Angelina Jolie
Honestly, I think I can be better. My marriage is only going to help me. I found a person I can talk to and a person who is going to be by my side through thick and thin. Elin has instilled a lot of confidence in me in all aspects of my life. – Tiger Woods